Okage: ReWritten
by CuteaCakes
Summary: This is a sassy rewrite of Okage: The Shadow King, filled with and bad attitude Ari and sad weird Stan (Trinidaddy praise be on to him) be ya rewrite i don't own Okage: The Shadow King. I do not own this game.


A woman stood at the stove, cooking and talking to herself in a singsong voice. "I am a super mom. A beautiful wife. A stupendous chef. A doting mother. Hum, hum, hum. La da da."

Up in his room, Ari could hear his mom complimenting herself. 'God, what a narcissist," he thought. 'She just goes on and on.' He heard his sister enter the kitchen and start blabbering about dinner. 'Do either of them ever shut up? Seriously, both of them are always talking.'

Ari decided to go downstairs to see what the fuss was about, only to be greeted with a loud "See? Ari came too!" from his annoying sister. "Mom, mom! Come on, what's for dinner tonight? Stew or steak?

She looked at Ari expectantly. He saw a pot, so he assumed it was a stew. "Oh, I don't know. Stew?"

Annie looked at their mom excitedly, and their mom smiled and giggled. "Well, the answer is… it's a secret!"

Ari fought back his groan. 'Jesus Christ, mom.'

Annie gasped. "Mom! It's not fair! Oh, tell me please!"

His mom smiled. "Hmm, well. Let me see," she chuckled and then a look of sudden remembrance crossed her face. "Oh, that reminds me, Ari! Dad brought back a funny bottle yesterday. Look, it's out there on the table." She gestured to a purple-pink bottle.

He glanced at it, not really caring. "But we couldn't get the cap off the bottle! Don't you think it's strange?" She continued.

He supposed it couldn't hurt to try. He walked over to the table and picked up the bottle, trying to take the cap off. It wouldn't budge and inch. Oh well, he tried.

"See, I wonder what's in there." His mom said.

Annie sighed, exasperated. "Mom! It's pointless to have a bottle we can't open! Throw it away!"

"Well, let's see," she started. "What should we do...Oh, that reminds me! I forgot bread!"

'Sure, mom.' he sighed internally. 'You also forgot that there's literally a loaf of bread right behind you.'

"I'm busy cooking so I can't go. Hmmm, what should I do?" Oh great. He knew where this was going.

"Make Annie do it, mom."

"I so want to but darn it," Annie quickly lied with an innocent look on her face. "I have a test tomorrow at school! Gotta study! My future's on the line!" She rushed upstairs to her bedroom, but Ari knew that wasn't what she was actually doing. That sneaky bastard.

"Okay, Ari. Pick up the bread at the bakery in the village. It will be put on our tab there, so you can just pick it up. Thank you!" He went to leave but his mom stopped him again. Jeez, what now? "Oh, you know what? Before you go to the bakery, why don't you drop by and see your dad at the Town Hall? Ah, the man I love hard at work. Oh, I wish I could see your father in action! Such rapture!"

'Okay, gross, mom.'

He leaves his weird mansion/castle house thing (he has no fucking clue) and goes to head out, only to see none other than Annie. 'I knew it. She's not doing homework, the little bitch.'

"Oh, hey Ari! So, what's for dinner, huh?"

'Why do you care so much? Just wait two hours, god damn. Do you ever stop eating?' He resisted the urge to facepalm and instead just stayed stoic and silent.

"Aww!! Come on, tell me!"

"What happened to your homework?" was all he said.

"Homework?" She giggled sheepishly, faking forgetting it. "Oops, never mind! Well! I'm going out on a twilight date before dinner with Morris! To polish my feminine airs, I have to build up experience while I'm young. My book says so too..."

'What the fuck kind of book says that?' he thought. "What book says so?"

"It's Mom's book. What was the name... Um... "Controlling Guys Made Easy". Well, enjoy your errand, Ari! La da da, hum, hum, hum..." She slipped away as Ari internally questioned why mom had that kind of book.

Not far from Ari's house, he ran into two boys, one tall and lean and the other shorter and heavier. He opted for silence as per usual when he approached.

The pudgy one jumped. "Woah, Ari, you startled me! When did you show up? I didn't even notice!

The skinny boy looked at Ari and said "Ari, you look real gloomy." Ari sighed. 'That's just my face.'

Anyway, you know what? The circus is coming to the field over there tomorrow night!" Ari briefly thought about the circus, and how everyone was going to want to bring a date or whatever. Gross, dating.

"I- I-I'm definitely gonna ask Julia out this time! I, I, I will do it! And me and Julia are gonna go out on a romantic date!" said the skinny boy.

'Yes, because if you really want to impress a lady, take her to the circus.' Also, apparently everyone thought he had a crush on her or something, for some godawful reason. He was always rather quiet, so he wasn't sure where they got that impression.

The shorter boy looked up at Ari."I wonder who I should ask out. Ari, why don't you ask somebody out too? It's the circus!"

'Oh, gag. I am not asking someone out to the circus. Especially not a girl.' For a moment he swore he said that aloud and sudden panic shot through him. If someone besides him heard his snarky comments, who knows what would happen.

"Too much trouble, really," is what he settled on saying instead.

"Ha! I bet he doesn't have the guts to ask a girl out! Hahaha, chicken! Ha! I can't wait for tomorrow night! Julia will be mine and mine alone!"

'Jesus Christ man, chill out. I don't want your girl.'

"Oh, you're in the middle of an errand, huh? You'd better go quick! You know, to Tenel Village! You've lived here your whole life!"

Yes, of course he knew that. 'You dolt,' he thought.

He walked through the gates of Tenel and walked directly into Julia. 'Speak of the devil.' Somehow, she didn't notice him and so he thanked the lords almighty or whatever and continued walking. But ofcourse, she only noticed as he started to walk away.

"Huh? Oh, Ari!"

'Oh, for fuck's sake.'

"I was daydreaming. Sorry about that. Hey, did you know the circus is coming tomorrow night?"

"Why, no Julia, I didn't," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. She didn't catch on, though.

"Isn't it great? It's the circus! So, aren't you going to ask me out, Ari?" She batted her eyelashes, but they weren't affecting Ari in the slightest, only grossing him out.

'You're not even wearing mascara! You have platinum blonde hair, at least wear mascara, jeez! Oh well, I'm sure that boy asked her out already, and it's not like I care, so I'll play along.'

"Sure. Julia, will you go to the circus with me?" he replied in complete monotone.

"Sorry. Somebody asked me already, so if you'd have asked sooner," she giggled nervously, flipping her blonde hair. "Anyway, um, sometime soon, I-I need to tell you something important. Um, uh, I have to go now, see you!" her voice raised in pitch as she said her goodbyes and she walked off quickly as Ari let out a heavy sigh.

'Well that was quite the encounter.'

He walked down the road, avoiding the bakery and instead spoke to an elderly man he saw, for whatever reason. "The prettiest girl in this town would have to be Julia. She has a neat and clean air about her. And your little sister, Annie, too! What'll she be like in three years, hmm?"

Ari walked away quickly. 'Please never speak to me again.'

'Oh thank god, Shop Other One is still open.' He thought extra sarcastically. 'Seriously, whose idea was it to name it that?'

He decided to go into the bakery, since he had nothing better to do and he sure as hell wasn't about to go see his nasty dad at work. "Excuse me."

"Huh? Oh, it's you, Ari! Didn't I always tell you a boy should speak up? Anything bothering you? Come on, put your chin up, boy! Girls like the assertive ones, now!" The bakery woman just went on and on. These women, Jesus.

'Precisely why I'm quiet. I don't want to attract girls. Goddamn.'

She gave him the loaf of bread he needed, because apparently everybody knew he needed bread or something. "Alright now, off you go before the loaf gets cold! I need to fix dinner for my husband, too!"

As soon as he exited the bakery, Annie approached him. Great. "Ari, are you done with the errand?" He nodded, not that she noticed or cared. Great! Ok, then, let's go home! Ari, what's wrong? Did the bakery lady lecture you again?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Let's see… Ari, you're the type of person that blends into someone else's shadow. Oh well, at least there's someone who sees some good in you. I mean, Julia, man, you're one lucky guy! Hehe!"

Was… did his sister like Julia? Oh well, maybe they could be gay together, whatever. They walked home, Ari being generally frustrated while his sister teased him but still silent regardless. God, he couldn't wait to leave this household, Jesus fucking Christ.


End file.
